WAKING UP INSIDE BARS

When I got conscious, I found myself inside bars.
Police Officer: Do you remember what happened yesterday?
Me: Honestly, not at all.
Police Officer: Well, at 2:XXAM, near XX Station
(it was very precise),
you kicked the side mirror of Mr. XX and wrecked it.
Me: Oh. My apologies.
Police Officer: Mr. XX will arrive in a moment.
Stay in your cell until I call you.

…So, apparently, I’ve kicked a car that was passing by,
and wrecked its side mirror.
Then I went back to my cell,
where I found a cellmate.
He was slim, and seemed like a nice person.

Me: What did you do to get in here?

Cellmate: I tried to get buy drugs for the first time.
It turns out that the drug dealer was being tailed,
and I was caught along with him.
So I never abused drugs in my life and I’ve been here for 2 whole weeks.
Me: Two weeks!!!

Just as I was thinking I should inform my wife,
Mr. XX had arrived.
I humbly begged for his pardon.
Then, he showed me the 900 dollar bill.
Fortunately, I had 1300 dollar in my wallet,
so I paid the bill on the scene.
Then, I called my wife from the cellphone
that apparently had been taken away from me in the arrest.
They told me now that the compromise has been made,
and because I had a judicial guarantee,
I was free to go.
It felt like my wife was an angel
when she came to pick me up. To think about it,
that was a pretty expensive side mirror.
(56-year-old male Kanagawa Japan IT)

 

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Level of the Hangover(1-5 point)


Times of votes:16   Total points: 69   Avarage points: 4.3

MOVING OUT

When I woke up,
I found myself lying near my doorsteps with no panties on.
Then, I had a call from the police…telling me that in our neighborhood,
they’ve found my wallet next to a human excrement.
?It turns out that I had an urgent call to stool on the way home,
pooped, and left my wallet where I did it.
I moved out of that house right away.

(40-year-old female, manufacturer employee)

 

 

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Level of the Hangover(1-5 point)


Times of votes:15   Total points: 60   Avarage points: 4.0

GOT A BAD BERIBERI AFTER CONTINUOUS HANGOVERS

I was 27 years old back then, so it must have been more than 20 years ago.
I was transferred from Tokyo to Shizuoka.
Being chased away from the main city, I was very dissatisfied.
“Why me”, I thought.
But when I actually moved in, it was a whole different story.

The welcome party in the branch office, welcome party by the department,
a reception party held by a major local client,
welcome party by colleagues that entered the company on the same year,
party held by people I knew from college living in Shizuoka…

I got drunk every single day.
After the toast, I would have my cup refilled as soon as I dried it.
I would get carried away and go on drinking without any eats.
After getting crunk, I would wake up and find myself in my bed.

I managed to go to my company, yet couldn’t eat lunch because of the hangover.
Still, I was young back then.
By sunset, I would be fully recovered and feeling ready to go.

Then, I would go out drinking….
Strangely enough, I would find myself in the bed next morning,
and would be ready to go by sunset and do it all over again and again.

One morning, I went to get a cup of water.
When I held the cup, I couldn’t feel it.
I could see my hand holding the cup,
but couldn’t feel my hands holding it.
I automatically gripped the cup as strong as possible.
I felt cold sweat running all over my body.
I gave a pause and tried to brush my teeth.
Holding the toothbrush also felt numb…
although I could “see” my hands holding it.
I held on to the toothbrush tight.

Thinking back on my day-to-day life,
I could easily guess that something really bad was happening to my body.
With cold sweats running, I made two phone calls.
One for the company saying,
“I’m feeling ill today. I have to go to the hospital before I head to the office”.
The other call was for my mother.
For some reason, I was convinced that I’m going to go through a surgery and told her,
“I’m really sick. I’m headed to the hospital now and it may well be a surgery.

At a university hospital,
I went through a blood exam and waited until I could see the doctor.
I explained my symptoms to the doctor.
looking at the blood exam report, he said,
“It’s a beriberi resulting from malnutrition…
how much are you getting paid for this?” with a fed up expression,
then gave me a lecture.
With a single injection, the cold sweat and the numbness went away.

I called my mother saying,
”I recovered” and headed for the office.
As you might expect, on that day I went straight back home.
(53-year-old male, independent business)

 

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Level of the Hangover(1-5 point)


Times of votes:13   Total points: 49   Avarage points: 3.7

MY WIFE

I had just finished my 2 long months of induction courses,
and was at the welcome party at the office.

I was spoken to by a 33-year-old lady, who was called “The Doyenne”.
I, acting like a naive boy that I was back then, was taken straight to a love hotel.

A couple of days later, I heard rumors of The Doyenne being pregnant.

On the same day,
the doyenne came up to me and said,
“I have to tell you something…”.

So yes, on freshman year,
I was a father.
My wife and I have a difference in our ages of 11 years.
(28-year-old male, printing business)

 

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Level of the Hangover(1-5 point)


Times of votes:11   Total points: 47   Avarage points: 4.2

SPOTS

30 years ago, I used live in Kichijoji(Tokyo,Japan).

My house was an apartment in 20min distance from the exit of called “Sunroad”.
On the end of Sunroad, there used to be a bar, upstairs of a pet shop,
called Huckleberry.

My daily routine was to go to the bar and have a sip of I.W.HARPER,
a pretty expensive bourbon for what I was making.
Most of the times,
I would be the only one in the counter seats,
have a couple on the rocks and leave.

That day was different.
I found two gorgeous women in the counter seats and one of them was a bit chubby,
and was just my type.

Because I’m not the kind of guy that can go up and say hi,
I just observed her profile instead.

Their voices got louder in time, and were drying their cups at an insane pace.
I think they had around 10 cups while I had 2.
Suddenly, the chubby girl stood up and walked towards the stairs.

Then, I heard a scream, followed by the sound of her falling down the stairs.
I instantly thought it was an opportunity for me to be a man,
and ran to the stairs.

There, I found the beautiful lady hunching over downstairs.
As I looked at the stairs,
I found spots of excrement.
I stood there paralyzed.
The bar manager bumped me out of the way,
and rushed down the stairs.

(60-year-old male, unemployed)

 

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Times of votes:12   Total points: 46   Avarage points: 3.8

THE SMELL

I woke up to find that I’ve pooped in my own bed.
My partner came home after a business trip and complained that it smells weird.
I never told him what happened.

 

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Times of votes:12   Total points: 42   Avarage points: 3.5

HEARING LOSS

It was at a party after making a big deal.
“Chuck! Chuck!”
I don’t remember how much I had to drink.
I could barely recall the events in the third bar.

When I woke up, I felt ice on my right cheek.
As I came to my senses, I noticed I couldn’t hear anything.
As I rouse I noticed a weird smell, something like a gastric fluid.
It seemed like I unconsciously puked in my bed.

It wasn’t ice on my cheek, but my own vomit.
The reason I couldn’t hear was because the vomit was plugging my ears.
Of course, the smelled was coming from the vomit was all over my bed.
(45-year-old male, advertising)

 

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Level of the Hangover(1-5 point)


Times of votes:12   Total points: 40   Avarage points: 3.3

GAVE HOURS OF LECTURE TO A COMPLETE STRANGER

I was dumped by mu ex-boyfriend and was having a gripe session with my friends.
Our conclusion was
that we should give him a lecture of how thing should be done and made a rush at my ex’s house.

I recall having a feeling that something wasn’t quite right,
but breached into the house and started preaching anyways.

It turns out that the house
I rushed into wasn’t my ex’s house,
and I was talking to a complete stranger.

Later, my friends told me that they’ve tried to stop me
but I was uncontrollable.
What my friends told me, was that the guy I was talking to acted like a good listener,

laughing the whole time.

Well, he sounds like a nice guy.
(27-year-old female, housewife)

 

 

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Level of the Hangover(1-5 point)


Times of votes:11   Total points: 39   Avarage points: 3.5

IF ONLY I COULD GO BACK IN TIME

In my newly-married days,
we used to go to bars with an all-you-can-drink services.
We would be mashed by the time we left.
When we reached our home,
I had to suffer in the bathroom forever.

Next morning, I noticed that I had flushed my wedding ring.

My wife cried and said, “I want a divorce!!”
(45-year-old male, carrier)

 

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Level of the Hangover(1-5 point)


Times of votes:11   Total points: 33   Avarage points: 3.0

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